So why am I still here thinking, "I should have done this. I should have done that!" I know its already over, done with, yet why I am still making unfruitful wishes hoping that Doraemon will come out of my drawer and invite me for a ride in the time machine?
Today's paper was okay, but I think it was because of my anxiety that I made everything upside down. The Karangan paper was so-so, but I thought I could have written a better one if there's more time allocated and oh, if only my brain wasn't dormant at that time. I only kicked into gear after writing half of the essay. =S (Here I go again! Droning away the "if only" wishes)
Maths, a subject I occasionally enjoy and sometimes dread. The Maths paper was fine. It was supposed to be fine. I knew I could do all the questions! Yet, I did the paper badly. Reason? "Not enough time."
Man, I suck at managing my time well. I have been trying to master the art for a long long time. I now am still a slave of time, not the master over time. Damn, what is seriously wrong with me? =
Anyway, about the Maths paper, I spent too much time on Section A. I thought I could have finished the whole paper by 11.30 am. But no! Just when I realised it was already eleven o' clock, I was still struggling with the first question of Section B! I can't believe I did my test ever so slowly, I'm not surprised that a snail crawls faster than I write.
Not surprisingly, I entered into panic mode (again!) and quickly skipped the first question and moved on. I never came back to that. For some reason, time decided to play a game with me and it purposely went faster. It was infuriating I tell you. I was cursing deep inside while I was flustering with the papers (answer scripts and question papers). I couldn't think straight. Even a simply calculation I had to turn on the calculator and start calculating la.
Yes, I know I'm over-reliant on my calculator. I was never good with mental calculations.
And my brain was dead at that time. I was worried. I just couldn't know what to do. I had the sudden brain block, and I knew I can kiss my marks in the later questions of Section B bye-bye. A seemingly average question that only needs some analysis turned into one that can consume me. It's an illusion, I knew it was, but I didn't have the time to complete. Besides, the last question was on mean and mode (and something else, but its not median), and I could score some "pitiful" marks for it (that can make a difference of C or D). Mweh, I knew I screwed that.
My mean was 18! (whereas the question wanted the answer between 1 - 6 I think)
The last few minutes, Ms Ong was announcing some countdown. I mean, does she have to intensify the pressure that I was going through? And at the last minute, she was drumming my fingers in time with my heartbeat. =( Sigh~ what to do? At least I did my Section A well mah, except for one or two questions.
And that's when I saw my 3 marks going down the drain. I messed up the quadratic equation. Dang, I could have saved myself some skin =\. My whole body was trembling again man. And like I said earlier, my brain was dysfunctional. I'm young, yet I'm old? I'm too young to suffer Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases la!
Why am I still thinking about the Maths paper which is already over? I feel so disappointed in myself la. I did a lousy performance on the papers. Why am I so pessimistic today?
I should just forget about it and instead concentrate more on studying my Chemistry so that I can rob back some of the marks that I lost in Maths and compensate it in my average. Blah~
I feel blue today. But I need to put myself together asap. Because I know it's not worth crying over spilt milk. Sigh~ I'm just worried about the happenings of post-exams...
Self-reminder: do as fast as possible and don't underestimate the papers. I didn't, and I regretted doing so. It's not what it seems it is...it is all an illusion. Unless you are very certain of your facts, that is.
Wishing everybody good luck for the rest of their exams.
P.S. New comment feature found after this entry. It's the "Have your Say" link. Try it out!
Comments by them:-
freshrimp put thoughts into writing at 11:59.
Comments? Whisper 'em!
Judging by the time this was typed, im guessing you typed it the minute you got home. Lol. Must've been pretty bad. I skipped a few questions also lar..not only u. But its over, so yea, concentrate on the rest!
Paradox whispered at 10 May, 2006 13:29.
is that steven? lol. the paper was fucking mad i say. i was going nuts. i absolutely hate it. i know chem will be easier and hopefully a maths too so yeah
Alex whispered at 10 May, 2006 13:59.
Thanks Steven =)Yea, I typed it out immediately after I stepped into the house. Haha...
Alex, haha! The paper "wasn't" that tough actually. I could have done all if there was enough time and I am can recall some formulae. Chemistry was okay la.
freshrimp whispered at 11 May, 2006 12:54.
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