17 August 2006
Another blog entry...

I'm sorry guys for not blogging much these past few days. There isn't much going on with my life now. I guess... Sometimes, on days, I feel like voicing out my inner feelings, thoughts, problems and wanderings out in this blog, but then I do not have the heart to do so. Laziness? Probably, but it's not really that. It's just that some things in my life and my point of views are too secretive and personal to be all strung into words. I'm afraid of the reaction. I'm afraid I'll expose too much, leaving me bare and naked and nothing to cling on. I'm afraid of being laughed at. I'm afraid that I'll be judged and segregated.

Okay, enough about that. Today was a very weird day for me. Seriously, it's all too weird it's like I'm living abnormally. Firstly, I spent about 5 hours during the afternoon and late night doing nothing but reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards. Yea, I finally collected my order from Amazon.com yesterday at the post office. This book is about David, a father and his wive, Norah, who had delivered twins at a clinic during a blizzard. The drama unfolds and revolves around David's decision to give away her daughter Phoebe to Caroline (Wow! I can't believe my classmate's names were in this book!) and asking her to put her in an institution, which the book suggests is a terrible place. Caroline, being kind-hearted, brought her home and raised her instead.

I know, it's really evil of him to do that, but he couldn't bear to raise Phoebe up who was suffering from Down's syndrome and he thought that eventually her daughter will die of some cardio-related disease at a young age. And to avoid upsetting Norah, he told her that she had twins but because he can't bear to tell her the truth due to some "past events that haunted him", he told her that her son was alive but the daughter still born. And so, the whole story revolves around this deception that lasts for a long long time, causing the family so much grievances and difficulties which further complicate problems.

This book is pretty good. I seriously don't remember staying up late until nearly 12 midnight and even brought to school and read when opportunites arise just to finish a damn book. I think the whole of last night and this morning, my life was revolving around the story and I closed both eyes to what was happening around me. And it is a really touching story also. I mean, can you believe that deceptions and lies will lead to even more lies until eventually, everything is so messy and the truth hidden amongst all the labyrinths of tall tales? But the story was wonderfully written as well. I don't know whether this book is sold in Brunei or not, but if you see one, go buy!!!

Okay, end of book review/synopsis, and getting back on blogging. So like I said, my life this morning was heavily revolved around that story, thus I can't conjure one up for you guys about my life! But yea, I remembered a couple of things though.

Today, I spelt born (past tense) as bornED. My goodness, how idiotic one can get when one is engrossed into something! =S Next up was Physics. Man, that was really freaking scary. I was stuttering so fast (so nervous!) I think I made my speech sound unintelligible. And I speak broken English! So proud of myself, not!

Oh yea. And there were a couple of "distractions" that I don't like either. I'm not going to elaborate more. Oh, and thanks guys for your support, especially Kim and Amelia =P.

Moving on to Biology. LOL! I remember Alex's face vaguely, astonished that I managed to grab hold of the "holy marks". Heeheehee. I was so blur and sleepy at that time you know, I was like daydreaming about the story. (I know, pretty sad.) And when teacher was like saying something about offering marks, I perked up immediately. Lol... (too tired to talk about this. So I shall stop here.)

Oh and I fell down during Malay lesson. Verdict: my bag. My bag tripped me. Ho-ho-ho! I was embarrassed; I really wanted to flee outside. Shesssh, talk about being klutzy!

Sigh, I don't feel like trailing on. I don't really feel like blogging anymore. I'm too tired. I just want to seep into my own fantasy world again, where everything is perfect, lovely and sweet. But my bubble was burst a few times, exposing my vulnerable self to harsh and bitter reality. I don't like it. I yearned to run back into my little abode and indulge myself in my fantasies.

Study. Bummer. My revisions done can be considered negligible. It isn't much. Facts are all left scattered and in a mess. I can't absorb them. But I'm glad that I can understand them, it seriously cuts down my workload by half. But I have yet to gain total mastery of the facts...

Man, I have no idea what I'm talking about now. I think I'm drunk. (No I didn't drink. It usually happens when I lack sleep.) Rambling about some useless stuffs. That probably don't affect your lives. Only mine...mine...mine...

Disclaimer: Please, ignore my ramblings. They're just spams. No, I'm just too tired to think straight. Forgive me for the angst of this post.

freshrimp put thoughts into writing at 16:31.
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