03 December 2006
Stress Relievers
 

As promised, Fwd: mails as blog posts for your entertainment. Thanks to Luisa Jie Jie for this!

>Stress Reliever #1
>> > Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
>> > Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
>>your
>> > picture and the problem disappears.
>> > Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
>> > Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
>> > can there be greater than this one?"
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 2
>> > Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
>>and
>> > lighten your burden.
>> > Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
>> > troubles.
>> > Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 3
>> > Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
>> > give up my seat to a lady.
>> > Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
>> > Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 4
>> > Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of
>>the
>> > night?"
>> > Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
>> > Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
>> > Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 5
>> > Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
>> > Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 6
>> > A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
>> > My father grows beans," said one student.
>> > "My father cooks beans," said another.
>> > Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 7
>> > Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a
>> > millionaire to?"
>> > Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
>> >
>>Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
>>married
>> > her?"
>> > Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 8
>> > Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
>> > The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 9
>> > A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
>> > He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 10
>> > Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are
>> > sleeping with?
>> > Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 11
>> > Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
>> > Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 12
>> >
>>A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or
>>my
>> > sexy body?
>> >
>>He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
>>humour.
>> > _______________________________________________________________________
>> > Stress Reliever # 13
>> > Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are
>> > you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
>> > Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.
>> > _________________________________________________________________

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freshrimp put thoughts into writing at 20:46.
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